Sex against your will

meisje met een muts op

1 in 6 girls and 1 in 25 boys sometimes get talked into having sex. This means that many young people have sex against their will at some point.

What is that exactly?

Sex against your will means sex you don’t want. It could happen in all kinds of ways. For example:

  •     You’re on the dance floor, there are boys rubbing up against you, and you don’t like it.
  •     Your uncle touches your breasts.
  •     Your boyfriend is very coercive in bed when he’s had a drink.
  •     Your ex sends everyone a sexual photo of you.

These are all situations in which someone is not respecting your boundaries.

Obvious or subtle?

Sex against your will is sometimes obvious and sometimes very subtle. It’s obvious if someone keeps going when you’ve said ‘no’, or when someone physically forces you. It's more subtle when someone talks you into sex that you don’t actually want. Or if someone takes advantage when you’re drunk or asleep.

Usually you know them

Usually you know the person taking advantage of you. Your boyfriend or girlfriend, an internet date, someone who lives nearby, a family member or a schoolteacher. Groomers also force you into sex against your will.


Many girls and boys who’ve had a bad experience with sex feel guilty afterwards. They think they provoked it. Or that they gave off the wrong signals. Always remember: it's your body and no one has the right to overstep your boundaries. Even if you've flirted with them, were wearing a short skirt or were in a relationship with them.

Have you had a bad experience?

photo of a girl