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A relationship! What now?

You're in love with each other and have a relationship. Some call it ‘going steady’ or ‘going out. A relationship is great, but sometimes it's nerve-racking as well. Take the time to get to know each other, and indicate what you do and don't enjoy doing.

Getting used to each other

A new relationship is a time of discovery for each partner. You don't know each other that well, which is both fun and nerve-racking. Sometimes you may feel insecure. Are we actually going steady? Does the other person like me as I am? What do I want and what do I not want, and how do I make that clear?

Here's how you get over the initial insecurity:

  • Be yourself! After all, you are the one the other person fell in love with.
  • Take the time to get to know each other. This is how to find out what suits both of you.
  • Think about what feels good for you. How often do you want to see each other? Do you want to do everything together? Or do you want to keep part of your life separate? Do you already want to make love, or are you not ready for it?
  • Be clear about what you do and don't enjoy. Respect your boyfriend or girlfriend’s boundaries.

Kissing and stuff

Never kissed? Chances are it’s going to happen now. At least, if that’s what you want, and your boyfriend or girlfriend does too. Kissing often starts like this: you kiss each other with your lips closed. You move your lips around and touch those of your partner. At a certain point, you tilt your head so that your noses are not getting in the way. You open your mouth and slowly slide your tongue in. Nice feeling? Then you’re getting it right!

Then there's sex

You have a relationship. But are you having sex too? That might be the case, but it doesn’t have to be. Kissing, French kissing or snogging and caressing each other can be really great too. You start having sex when you are both absolutely ready for it; when both of you really want it. It can be better to get to know each other first. You might find that your partner is just as nervous about it as you are! More about the first time.

From falling in love to being in love

When you’ve fallen in love, you only see the positive sides of your boyfriend or girlfriend. After a while that changes. Your partner isn’t that perfect person anymore, but simply someone with positive and negative traits. If you are still happy with the person you fell in love with, then it probably is true love. You are proud of each other, you want to be together, and you can be yourselves around each other. Now and then, you may fall in love with them all over again, but less passionately than in the beginning.

Videos about the first time

Videos about the first time

In 3 short videos, young people talk about their first time.

Watch them here