Playing with yourself

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You can have sex by yourself. This is called masturbating, playing with yourself or bringing yourself off. Lots of people play with themselves. That includes people who are in a relationship. It's quite normal to have periods where you masturbate a lot. It's also quite normal to experience periods where you're not in the mood. 

Women: fingering

Lots of women play with themselves. This is how:

  • Fingering means you caress your clitoris, or the area around it, with your fingers. This gets you turned on. Try it out, rub on or around your clitoris, vary the speed from fast to slow, apply more pressure or perhaps less. You can try it with one or more fingers in your vagina.
  • As you get aroused, your vagina gets moist and your clitoris swells up and becomes harder. You can use your vaginal fluid to make your clitoris even more sensitive.
  • You can also stimulate your clitoris in other ways. Perhaps with the jet of water from the shower, or with a vibrator. Every woman likes doing different things, and that can change each time. You can have an orgasm by stimulating the clitoris.

Men: masturbation

Lots of men play with themselves. They do that by masturbating:

  • To masturbate you wrap your hand around your penis and move it up and down, across the head of the penis and back again. Use some saliva or lubricant to make it slide up and down more easily. You can increase the tempo until you have an orgasm.
  • Every man likes doing different things, and that can change each time. Some prefer short strokes; others long ones. Use either your whole hand, or your thumb and a couple of fingers.


Are you circumcised? Then you don't have any foreskin and the head of your penis is less sensitive. A little saliva or lubricant helps to make  a smooth motion. Perhaps stroking other parts of your penis and testicles will also turn you on. Take the time to find out how you can enjoy masturbating and have an orgasm.

Use your imagination

You can do other things besides fingering or masturbating; touching your nipples or your anus for example. You can get yourself aroused by fantasising about sexual images or stories. You can fantasise about anything that pleases you and turns you on. Nothing is weird in a fantasy!

Advantage: you know your own body

Playing with yourself is not only enjoyable; it is useful too. You learn more about your own body. You discover what your penis or vagina looks like, feels like, smells like and how it works. Another advantage: if you know how to give yourself an orgasm, you can show a partner how to do that for you.

Want to know more about masturbating?

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Want to know more about fingering?

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